Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Funny Story and a Plea for Help!

Crumpet keeps me on my toes, that's all I can say...
The potty training is coming along better than I thought it would. Phew. Crumpet will now pee on the potty, no problem, and even goes by himself without telling me. Ah, self-sufficiency. I never thought I'd see it. (Yes, my bathroom is gross right now...) But he still has issues with pooping. (Isn't it amazing what moms feel is okay to talk about and publish? Yuck.) Today we had a little friend of his visiting, and they were having some trouble playing well together. At one point, I went into Crumpet's room, and he was huddled in the corner. I asked what he was doing, and he told me he was hiding from his friend for a while. I asked if he was really going to the bathroom, and he said no. So I left him to be alone for a little while. Eventually, he came out of the room and told me "That was a really bad poop, Mom." I said, "AACK, in your underwear???!!!" But no. He had put on a pull-up and put his pants back on (backwards!) so he could hide in the corner and fill his pants! How he reached the pull-ups, I don't know. I didn't even know he could put on his own pants because he always tells me it's impossible. So obviously, he is capable of many more things than I realize (I did suspect this...). He is very sneaky and clever, and thank goodness he put on that pull-up!
Here's my trouble, though. The little fib about the fact that he wasn't going to the bathroom, when in fact he was. He has done this many times in the last few days, always as a way to get what he wants when he's afraid I'll say no. It's always pretty entertaining and clever. But how do I stop it before it is no longer funny, but a full blown problem with lying? We've talked about telling the truth, and I try to make most of the things he wants to do possible, so he won't feel the need to hide from me, but it's not working. Any ideas?


  1. M used to go hide in a corner - the same corner - to poop. This was *after* we knew he could do it on the potty. It was basically so he would not have to go to the trouble of removing clothing, stopping playtime, washing hands, all that stuff. Once we started letting him run around naked for a while it stopped (although we did have a few close calls with a naked bottom in that corner). After that he decided it was better to go in the bathroom than to feel the discomfort of it in his underwear. Crumpet will get there! Now, I don't know what's going on in his mind because he did go to the trouble of undressing (and then dressing again!) before pooping, but I have a feeling the less you make of this the sooner it will stop. Is he really into being a "big boy"? You could pretend he's a baby when you have to clean him up (in a playful way, not anything demeaning, just somehow get across the idea that a big boy goes on the potty). Of course if he wants to be babied and he is not sure about being a big boy this could backfire on you. Good grief. Does that help? Ha! I should've just written "I have no idea, but good luck"! :) I would be careful not to make it into a moral issue about lying; my thought is you don't want him to feel bad about himself or he may lose the self-confidence and independence he already has-???

  2. Yikes, tricky tricky tricky. I don't really have a good suggestion, just moral support, which sometimes can be almost as helpful.
    ALMOST...... Sigh, my little Princess doesn't really care and just goes regardless of if she's in underwear or not. Yeah, that's not fun.

  3. I think our children really feel their parents' disapproval and disappointment and try to avoid it. So he probably fibs not because he is afraid that you will say "no", but because he just doesn't want to disappoint you. Anna is usually pretty truthful, and we are trying to reinforce it by telling her that we will always love her even though sometimes we don't like the behavior. Also, we call her on her fibs - trying to create an impression of an omnipotent parent who can easily see her through lies. What we are trying to communicate to her - there is no point in lying since we will find out and discipline her for it. It's always less painful to tell the truth. Good luck with jumping the pooping hurdle on the road to full potty training.