It seems that everything I ever said about proper parenting, and every comment I've ever made about anyone else's kids, has come back to haunt me now that I am a parent. Has anyone else had this happen? It has certainly taught me a lot about judging people. As in, DON'T, because I don't know anything about anything, and people really are just doing the best they can! :)
I always knew that ADHD exists and that some kids do have it. At the same time, I thought it was used more as a convenient excuse for teachers, and many parents, to drug their active children so they could handle a class, or home, full of other active kids. I believed that it was due to lack of exercise and too much time in front of the t.v.
Now, of course, I have a child who is blowing my mind with his hyperactivity and inability to focus.
Mealtimes have become a nightmare. I literally have to feed my 3 1/2 year old, or he doesn't eat. He is too busy climbing (more often, falling) out of his chair and back in, crawling under the table, harassing the pets, shooting imaginary bad guys... You get the idea. Almost every night, his drink ends up on the floor. He's been drinking from a regular cup for a year, but suddenly he can't NOT knock it over. (Yes, we're moving back to cups with lids because I hate to yell at him about spilled milk.)
He is happy to try to help us clean up at the end of the day, but even when we give him defined tasks ('put the cars in the bucket'), he can't do it. Within seconds, he's playing racecars and pulling out more toys to use in whatever pretend scheme he has going on.
He must have extended play breaks between every single school activity we do, whether it was a 30 second project or a 30 minute one.
If I tell him I'm going to take a shower, I hear him looking for me and screaming "where are you?" before I ever make it to the bathroom. He truly doesn't remember me telling him my plan. (Now, I have him repeat it back to me before I leave the room...)
This is all new behavior that has made an appearance in the last few months. It seems to have come at the same time as the imagination explosion we've seen. He has an incredible imagination, and he is constantly pretending to be someone or something else. The games just keep getting more elaborate.
So I don't know what to think. Is this normal 3 year old behavior? Normal boy behavior? Is it just a phase? Or a sign of a future problem?
I am grateful that I can homeschool him because I think I will have more luck getting through to him in a one-on-one setting where lessons are focused on his interests and abilities, and he may be more than a classroom teacher could handle. However, maybe he would try harder for someone he doesn't know? I have no intention of medicating him, or sending him off to school, but I am curious about other opinions. So what do you think?
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I am very curious what others will say, because I noticed something similar about my daughter who is 3 and 1 months now. She is a lot more restless and definitely has her own agenda in everything she does. She is not interested in any worksheets lately and wants to play or to watch TV (she only gets 30 min of TV time a day). She is not eating well, but she doesn't do what Crumpet does, because we immediately end the meal once she starts playing. Toy cleanup is also used as an opportunity to extend a play. It's amusing and sometimes exasperating, but I think it's just age and awareness of so many enticing possibilities in front of them.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add - she does go to preschool 3 mornings a week. I think it's helpful, because she learns to be in a group and to recognize that the world doesn't always turn as she pleases. The teachers love her - they say that she has tremendous positive energy. She also focuses better there - she brings pretty good crafts home.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a 3 year old boy to me! I have a three year old boy and he is crazy. I've found that taking him and the other boys on a long walk in the morning can help them foucus on other activities. Also boys like learning activities that get them moving! Learn on the go! Talking about nature, colors, shapes, letters, word and anything eles as you go. Also a child won't starve them selves, put out a variety of only healthy foods and he will eat eventually. If he doesn't like to sit and eat then let him go:) He'll be hungry soon that energy won't last to long if he doesn't eat, so he will:) Good Luck! littlehandsbigwork.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. M is *maybe* not as wild as Crumpet, but he can be very close, and I feel like we've gone through several phases where he was very much like what you are describing. We have survived so far (until the next phase at least). There are a couple of things I'm trying to do... 1. cut sugar from M's diet and add more protein, 2. no playing at the table, if he doesn't eat by himself, he doesn't eat. When he gets hungry he can have something easy if it's not mealtime - usually pb&j sandwich. 3. Finding ways to give him more responsibilities and autonomy in doing them. (I can email you more info if you are interested in details, let me know). And 4. Realizing that while I feel he's hyper while we are doing "school", really that's just his way of learning. I want to tell him to SETTLE DOWN and LISTEN, but that's not his learning style. He may be all over the place, but sometimes I've found that he has actually retained more information those days than other days. You should really read the book I've been posting about!!! You are doing a great job and you are a FABULOUS mommy... he's just a boy. I really feel at 3 it's much too early to even think of any sort of diagnosis.
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